Wednesday, November 5, 2014

time is a silly thing

So for those of you who don't know, I'm moving back to Kansas--in approximately 9 weeks. I can't believe it's that soon already.  (sidenote: I was just advised to move down there when I go visit for Thanksgiving. financially it does make more sense. I would have more time to settle in and could start my job at the restaurant, and working in food makes good money over the holidays. damn. more to think about.) I can't believe it's already that time though. kinda snuck up on me. I'm so excited. to be back. to be in school again. to be with my friends and family. don't get me wrong, I love Illinois. okay, I love the people in Illinois, not the actual state. the state kind of sucks. but the people have made it worth it. but I have to get back to Kansas. it's home. always has been, always will be. being away for the last several months has really given me perspective and now I'm anxious to get back. I suppose given my disorder I shouldn't use that word too liberally, but in this case it's necessary. I do have a little anxiety about going back, but hell what don't I have anxiety about these days? It's mostly a good anxiety too. like ya know when you're all hyped up on caffeine or whatever and you think you wanna run eight miles?  or like when you're so antsy waiting for something huge--whether you're about to get to your favorite part in your book, or your team's about to score the winning TD, or the moment right before your love kisses you--it's like that. the anticipation. the suspense. like I'm on the precipice of something great. I'm ready for the next chapter of my life. I know it won't be easy. but then life never really is, is it?

"For what it's worth...it's never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit. Start whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see the things that startle you. I hope you feel things you have never felt before. I hope you meet people who have a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of, and if you're not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again."
---F. Scott Fitzgerald

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